Having kids in the 5-12 range and 0-4 range it’s interesting to see how I am a different mom to my youngest than my oldest. I was so eager to become a mom I think I thought it would be the only thing I cared about and how refreshing to realize that isn’t the case. Having hobbies has really helped to feel like in a world where a lot of what I do is for other people, this is just for me.
Oh my goodness yes! I think I’m actually on my third stage of mom: the first was when Robbie was 0-3, the second was when Robbie was 3-6 and Claire was 0-3, and now I’m Mom 3.0.
And oof to “in a world where a lot of what I do for other people…” Yep.
I am still in phase one (my son will be 3 this summer) but I have found my way back to reading more recently and am so happy about it. This gives me hope I’ll get back to exercising more and pick back up my knitting again!
Yes! When Claire was still little, it was all I could do to collapse in front of a mindless show at the end of the day. Now I have the energy to needlepoint in front of a mindless show! Haha.
Switching to a job that’s 3 days in-office made it a lot harder to get back into running, just timing-wise, but I know it’ll happen eventually (if I still want it to when I get there!)
It was so much easier to get my walks in when he was younger because I could pop him into a stroller or sling and go. Then it was harder when he was a toddler. Now I go walk immediately after dropping off at school (7:15am). Now that the evenings are lighter, I'm trying to get back to my short walks after dinner on nights C does bedtime.
What I'm really struck by is that men's hours, at their most drastic, are just 6.6hrs less, while women's are 9.5hrs less. I think I'm on my third mom version. There was the newborn + nursing years, toddler years, and now elementary school. There are a lot of things I'd do differently, for myself and sanity, if I could go back, but I know I did the best I could with what I had at the time.
“I did the best I could with what I had at the time” - this this this! I think the guilt that a lot of women feel comes from a feeling that they *should* be doing more, not understanding that they’re not being lazy or unimaginative or whatever by not being able to.
I wish I had understood this when I first had E. Although I think it may be one of those things that you have to learn by doing to truly "get it." That graphic also really aligns with what I'm experiencing right now with a 4 and almost 2 year old. Insightful as always, Betsy
Having kids in the 5-12 range and 0-4 range it’s interesting to see how I am a different mom to my youngest than my oldest. I was so eager to become a mom I think I thought it would be the only thing I cared about and how refreshing to realize that isn’t the case. Having hobbies has really helped to feel like in a world where a lot of what I do is for other people, this is just for me.
Oh my goodness yes! I think I’m actually on my third stage of mom: the first was when Robbie was 0-3, the second was when Robbie was 3-6 and Claire was 0-3, and now I’m Mom 3.0.
And oof to “in a world where a lot of what I do for other people…” Yep.
I am still in phase one (my son will be 3 this summer) but I have found my way back to reading more recently and am so happy about it. This gives me hope I’ll get back to exercising more and pick back up my knitting again!
Yes! When Claire was still little, it was all I could do to collapse in front of a mindless show at the end of the day. Now I have the energy to needlepoint in front of a mindless show! Haha.
You will! I added back reading, crocheting, walking, and now I've been going to the gym for almost 2yrs. He's 6.5.
Switching to a job that’s 3 days in-office made it a lot harder to get back into running, just timing-wise, but I know it’ll happen eventually (if I still want it to when I get there!)
It was so much easier to get my walks in when he was younger because I could pop him into a stroller or sling and go. Then it was harder when he was a toddler. Now I go walk immediately after dropping off at school (7:15am). Now that the evenings are lighter, I'm trying to get back to my short walks after dinner on nights C does bedtime.
What I'm really struck by is that men's hours, at their most drastic, are just 6.6hrs less, while women's are 9.5hrs less. I think I'm on my third mom version. There was the newborn + nursing years, toddler years, and now elementary school. There are a lot of things I'd do differently, for myself and sanity, if I could go back, but I know I did the best I could with what I had at the time.
“I did the best I could with what I had at the time” - this this this! I think the guilt that a lot of women feel comes from a feeling that they *should* be doing more, not understanding that they’re not being lazy or unimaginative or whatever by not being able to.
I wish I had understood this when I first had E. Although I think it may be one of those things that you have to learn by doing to truly "get it." That graphic also really aligns with what I'm experiencing right now with a 4 and almost 2 year old. Insightful as always, Betsy
Oh absolutely - I might have understood intellectually, but I couldn't have known what it would feel like until I got to the edge of the next phase.